Non-Negotiable Needs of Gifted Children and How to Meet Them
By Linda Siegwald
“These are good for all children, but non-negotiable for gifted children.”-Linda Palles
- All children deserve to learn something new each day at school and to feel successful and excited about their progress. Gifted children are often two to three years ahead of their age-peers in their areas of strength. They don’t need to take time tests over their addition facts when they can already multiply or practice letter sounds when they can already read chapter books! Parents should make sure that the teacher knows the child’s area(s) of giftedness and then ask how they are differentiating to address the child’s need for growth and challenge.
- All children deserve to feel safe, good about themselves, and respected at school Gifted children are often teased by classmates and, perhaps unintentionally, by their teachers, too. For example, a teacher might say, “I can’t believe that Billy missed three on the spelling test!” or “If you are so smart, why don’t you know the answer to that question you just asked?” or some other insensitive remark. Parents should immediately report to the teacher any comments from peers that cause pain or embarrassment. This is bullying and counterproductive to a positive educational climate! If the teacher is contributing to the verbal abuse, explain to them that their talk is hurtful and unprofessional. They are probably trying to make a joke, or they may be intimidated by the child who can do the math problems faster than they can. Perhaps they don’t realize that “gifted” doesn’t mean a child is an expert in all areas. Educate them gently and let them know your gifted child is still a child with feelings like any other kid. If talking to the teacher doesn’t help, go to the administrator, but always start with the teacher.
- Each child has strengths and weaknesses. Gifted children are as diverse as any others. I’ve taught children who were gifted in verbal but received learning disability classes for math, gifted kids who could solve equations in their heads but couldn’t successfully socialize with other children, etc. It is unfair to expect a child with a talent for spatial awareness to be good at spelling! Parents should make sure the teacher knows the areas of talent their children exhibit so that expectations can be realistic in each subject area.
- Each child needs to have friends. Gifted children tend to have two groups of friends: Age-peers who share a common interest (on a team together, in band with them, enjoy the same video games, etc.) and intellectual peers who may be several years older but on the same “wave length”. These are the lasting friends with whom they might work on experiments or building projects. These are the friends who understand them! Parents should find opportunities within and without the school for their child to find compatible companions.
- Each child needs to discover his/her unique talents and interests. Gifted children tend to easily master many areas, which makes it hard for them to know their true talents. Parents can help their children by introducing them to many areas and supporting their interests and hobbies. For example, maybe your child would like to join a chess club, take a cooking class, or spend time in a makers’ lab. Let them experience many opportunities and see in which ones they have a passion to truly excel.